First, I want to start by saying that this wasn't a bad movie....I just thought it was a stupid movie. Entertaining, but stupid. When I first heard about Legion, I REALLY wanted to go see it. I like angelology. I like demonology. I like Paul Bettany. I thought it would be awesome. It had its awesome moments, but I was just overly disappointed by the film.
The plot centers around a group of people at a remote diner outside of Las Vegas, one of whom is a woman about to give birth to the next Christ. It appears as though demons want the child dead to bring about the Apocalypse. The Archangel Michael come to Earth, but upon arrival, he cuts his wings off rendering himself mortal, and a glowing collar falls off from around his neck. (This collar is never really explained, so don't ask.) He goes to the diner to protect the mother, Charlie, and reveals that angels are making the hits. Not demons. And they're led by Gabriel. Some stuff happens, and people die, along with Michael. Charlie and her boyfriend, (or whatever. Their relationship is also never really explained), apparently named Jeep, (I didn't stick around for the credits), escape the diner with the baby, which has been born by now, and the climb up a mountain. Gabriel finds them , and Jeep falls off a cliff and survives. Then Michael comes back as an angel (deus ex machina!) and pretty much saves the day. Michael gives Jeep the prophecy tattoos, and Charlie, Jeep, and Jesus II drive off into the sunset (literally) with the clichéd car-so-packed-with-weapons-you-could-supply-the-entire-Armed-Forces in search of some Prophets woh can explain the prophecy tattoos. But then the film ends, and there is very little explanation as to why ANYTHING in the movie happened in the first place.
As an amateur angelologist and demonologist, I was angry all through the movie. I had to throw EVERYTHING I know out the window in order to simply tolerate it. Now, from a hiistorical biblical perspective, this film is complete bullshit. Now, I'm a stone-cold atheist, but I know God isn't a complete dick. Neither is Gabriel. But apparently, for yet another unexplained reason, Gabriel is the bad guy and was given orders from God to kill the baby. And even if that were the case historically, Michael was given the original order to kill the baby, but he disobeyed God's orders - very un-Michael like. Michael should have an unfaltering devotion to God. But I guess not. Also, the angels can exist in their pure forms in the ethereal plane. And nobody explodes. Well, one guy did, but he had angry boils. But the only person who really shouldn't explode is Charlie.
From a cinematic standpoint, Legion was pretty good. Cool action and shitfuck scary monsters, but with pointless dramatic scenes in between pushing along a bunch of sub-plots that don't really matter. And at only around 20 minutes in, I was already being bombarded by sub-par acting.
But what I did like were the action scenes, and the demons. I love movies with a serious creep factor. Now I'm going to be terrified of cute little old ladies. I rather like the juxtaposition of the main demons to their hosts: an old lady, an ice cream man, a police officer, and a child. All some of the least threatening people you could stereotypically think of. And action and guns are always a plus. I just wish someone would have shot that crazy woman in the chair earlier in the movie. Then I would have been much happier.
All in all, I give this movie a Mehh+. Decent enough, but not something I'd watch more than maybe three or four times on purpose.
